Do you know WHY your child begs for toys or snacks or What to do (not related 2Meals)

We all have different skills, talents and things we notice. One of my talents happens to be noticing the connection between a child's actions and the feelings underneath it. It’s something I can see very clearly as if I was watching a movie. However, seeing if a word is misspelled or a misuse of grammar, that I can't see for the life of me. Here are just a few examples of what I notice as far as your children’s begging for food, snacks, and/or toys not related to meal times.

Timing: At the end of a play-date without fail most kids ask for a snack, say "I am hungry", or ask for something like computer time, T.V or a toy.
Reason: Hard for kids to transition and feel sad to stop playing. Response: You can say that "it's hard to say goodbye", "we can play again", "we can have a snack in a few minutes." (if they strat talking about feelings they tend to forget snacks.
Action: Try to add “Its hard to say goodbye” as you give 5-minute warning time is up.

Timing: When they get picked up from school or the minute they see you after work they say can I have a snack, computer, TV, or toy?
Reasons: They waited all day to see you, long day sitting still holding it together, a teacher or friend was mean, excited about something that they want to share with you.
Response Say: "Sure in a few minutes, tell me about your day first." "Tell me 2 things, What did you like? What didn't you like? Did something funny happen or exciting? Did something hurt your feelings?" Get them talking before eating.
Action: Break the Food Mood Connection.Walk and Talk before snack. Carry healthy snacks and water with you always.

Timing:Right before bed or before parents go out at night. Reasons: Hard to leave you for the night, may not have felt they had enough time alone with you, something hurt them that they haven't been able to talk about.
Response: Say, "I think our feelings are hungry not our tummies, we had a full day of food today lets talk for a few minutes. I know its hard to say goodnight. We had such a fun day or we didn't get to spend enough time together."
Action Hug,talk cuddle,listen to feelings,show empathy Timing: Whenever you say "NO" to your child. Not that you shouldn't say no but its the way its said.
Reason: Hard for kids or anyone to hear the word "no" because it hurts our feelings, makes people feel unloved and unimportant and that your needs don't matter.
Response "I am sorry to disappoint you, but we can't right now" or "We can do it tomorrow. I know its hard to wait but let's try and wait together."
Action Try not using the word no for a week. Finding another way to say it can be quite challenging. It took me a month to find new ways to say thing in a positive fashion.

Excerpt from manuscript in progress by Ava Parnass, MSN CS We teach our children to walk, talk and read, but if we start teaching them to recognize and express their feelings effectively, they won't need to medicate their emotional needs with food or other behaviors. In my various projects, “My Feelings Are Hungry” and “Listen To Me Please,” I address what I call the The Power of Feelings — the missing link in the overeating misbehaving epidemic. The songs and The Feeling Town Map at the back of the book, “My Feelings Are Hungry” teaches parents and children how to be detectives, reinforcing the principles and techniques introduced in the book.

A lifelong education in these skills should start early, ideally as part of the pre-school and elementary curricula alongside math, science, art and music. Again, I believe if we add a feelings component to the existing campaigns that address childhood issues, we will achieve success and make a lasting impact on this and future generations.

Our goals is to give family’s the language to talk about how they feel instead of overeating, screaming, or begging for things. Instead of arguing or controlling food, the idea is to ask:
• “What are you feeling” I noticed you are asking for a lot of things.?
• When they answer “Nothing,“ or “I don’t know,“ which they will accept that as the truth . Children need to be given choices of possible feelings to help learn to identify them.
• In addition to using the Feeling Town Map daily (at Back Of Book My Feelings Are Hungry) , Here are several great conversation-starters — many more can be found in my books “My Feelings Are Hungry” and “Listen To Me, Please!”:
• “Has something or someone hurt your feelings?”
• “Did you feel like we need to spend some time alone?”
• “Were you missing someone?” • “Were you angry or disappointed about something?” Give possible choices from your kid’s life.
• “Did something fun or exciting happen?” Don’t just focus on the negative.
• The whole process of undoing the begging-asking-food-mood connection takes a while. The most important thing is to talk about and listen to hurt feelings, and then help engage kids in problem-solving. Empathy is what helps feed children's hungry feelings, so they could move forward and enjoy the day.

. For Additional Successful techniques Click to buy Songs & Book    http://amzn.to/gYyvJo I am honored, excited, and flattered to be invited to be a guest blogger for littlejourneysworld . I appreciate the community and love being a part of it. It’s chock full of awesome things check it out!

Ava Parnass, a.k.a. “The Kid Whisperer,” is an author, songwriter and child therapist, who specializes in marrying entertainment and social-emotional literacy for kids. Ms. Parnass helps kids figure out how they feel through playing, talking, listening, reading, singing and dancing. Blog: Listen To Me Please "http://bit.ly/hHkKpm" Twitter@ListenToMePleas "http://bit.ly/mQFFzK"